I hope it’s pretty obvious that I love camp. The laughter and noise of the kids, the enthusiasm and thoughtfulness of the staff, the smell of the pines, the taste of the s’mores…. There is not a place on earth I’d rather be each summer.

At Weequahic, we get to venerate the connection to the old and celebrate the start of the new. We build lasting memories and skills and joy… together. Are there hiccups? Of course! There may be a bug in the cabin. The way our words come out are not exactly what we mean. We may run out of wings at lunch.

Nothing is perfect.

At least that is what I thought until last week.

Kenya

Kate, the boys, and I returned late last week from our first trip to Kenya. Along with friends, we have been supporting an orphanage outside of Nairobi for many years. As this would be (we hope) the last Thanksgiving that our boys don’t have team commitments, it was time to make the trek over.

I didn’t know what to expect at the orphanage. I’ve been to some pretty rough spots – the slums of Tijuana, the inner-city projects of Newark, even Camp Wayne for Boys. (I kid… Tijuana has some nice spots.)

Kenya’s First Love Children’s Home was, first of all, lovely.  All roads inside the compound were clean and true. The rooms were comfortable. Even the squawks and honks of the ducks and chickens was endearing. What I didn’t expect was the love of the children.

Play

First Love is a home for children who have no family who can care for them. As such, I expected to find children reserved, hesitant to reach out, to trust.

This idea was 180 degrees from reality: they craved play, laughed often and without restraint, and wanted to hold a hand or share a hug immediately. After several days living on property, I’m surprised to have convinced Kate to come home.

Were there problems?  You bet. But they were not the problems of privation.

Yes, the kitchen had no running water in the building but the wells were clean and deep. The oven used for cooking 125 people their three daily meals was wood-powered and mighty small but useful. The laundry was hand-washed and hung dry; it was clean. There were no snacks but plenty of beans, rice, porridge, and sustenance.

No, the problems were the same as those we see at camp: one child playing a little too passionately for the others. Someone asking for too many little treats and not sharing. A word taken out of context. Someone slipping and skinning a knee.

Perfect

In the midst of many challenges, in the wake of many hardships, these kids shared something perfect with us: a relationship based on play.

We played four-square and hopscotch. The kids and family danced and made goofy faces with and at each other. We swung and climbed, kicked the ball, and chased the chickens. Everyone made games with the food and make-believe stories with our minds, hands, faces, and words. We laughed and we raced. We read aloud and laughed together.

For four short days, the kids welcomed us into their home, just as welcome our campers in our own. A lot of bad luck led the children of First Love to their gates. Thankfully, many wonderful professionals were there, prepared to greet the children and meet them in all the right ways.

Our campers are much luckier in terms of family connections and material wealth. And, we at Weequahic hope to provide them with the same  experience the children of First Love receive: loving, playful, and completely open.

If we can do that, it will be perfect.  Have a great week!

I just enjoyed several great conversations with some of Weequahic’s finest. We were talking about the idea of camp making us more of one thing and less of something else. You can listen in on Nuge, Elise, Chopper, Ben, Len, Jeff, Jordan and Carly by checking out the Campfire Conversation podcast on iTunes, Spotify, or Stitcher.

Our experience with camp certainly makes us both more and less. Over the past two decades, I’ve become more patient and less rigid, more prone to listen first and less to likely charge ahead on my own. I’ve made a lot of mistakes.  Thankfully, Kate and our team have been happy to help me learn.

It doesn’t have to be so. Not everyone who enjoys camp changes much over time. In order change, you must think back over an experience to determine what you should have or could have done differently. These moments of reflection, especially when looked at with clear eyes, can teach you a lot.

Because of Camp

Finish this sentence: Because of camp, I’m grateful to be more _______.

If you are a camper, I bet you’ll say something like independent, confident, gratefully, courageous, connected to my best self, friendly, adventurous or ‘secure in my canteen choice.’ (Well, maybe not the last one….)

I bet our staff would finish the sentence in similar ways as those with whom I spoke: confident, empathetic, grateful and aware.

If you are a parent, I hope the response is more along the ideas of courageous, patient, relaxed, ‘confident I’m on the right track in my parenting approach.’

Spending time at or with Weequahic is supposed to make each of us ‘more.’ I’ve love to hear or read what you think about when answering the question. Take a moment to think a bit on it and let us know your response on either facebook or Instagram.

Have a wonderful Thanksgiving!

How many times have you walked away from a puzzle that someone else finished with just a few moves. Or that math problem that you just couldn’t solve which a friend or teacher says ‘what about this’ and leads easily to the right answer.

We all have those moments when, try as hard with all our might, we just can’t figure out how to make that paragraph work, schedule fit, recipe taste just right. And then your friend gives you the answer in a few seconds.

Frustrating? Maybe. Helpful? Certainly. Important? It’s hard to overstate the lesson.

Our Personal Goldmine

In the tough-minded and relentlessly optimistic book, Self-Renewal, John Gardner relays the stories of gold-miners who abandoned hard-worked mines for all sorts of issues. Every so often those seemingly ‘empty mines’ were found to be full of gold by the very next prospector to do some digging.

Much like these abandoned-yet-rich mines, “…most of us have potentialities that have never been developed simply because the circumstances of our lives never called them forth.”  Because we don’t spend time pursuing these potentialities “systemically or at least avidly”, we never really see just how much we can do.

I bet you know a lot of ‘successful’ people. I’ve got a friend who has been a State debate champion, college football player, Navy Seal, successful business person, PhD, and is an all-around great dad. He’s consistently put himself into situations in which he develops different capabilities and talents to their fullest.

But…

The Other Miners

He’s always had help when needed.

Whether it was a coach, parent, instructor, professor, teammate, partner or bride, my friend was supported, pushed, and aided by people who cared all along the way. He found new situations in which to push his own limits along with people to help him through the inevitable hard times. Rather than staying stuck, he asked for help. By learning, he has continually moved forward.

Though not impossible, it’s incredibly difficult to find the depth of your own talents on your own. It’s so much easier to battle through roadblocks and moments of doubt with the help from those around you, those who’ll pick up the shovel and lead you in a new direction or encourage you to keep digging.

That’s what community is all about, what camp is built upon: building a connection between those with so much potential and experienced people who want to help that potential flourish. We build camp in order to help us all keep digging, to find some self-set limits and pass them by on the road to the next iteration of ourselves.

Striking Gold

When the combination of courage, effort, and humility fit just right, you find levels of thought, performance, and success that originally seemed out of reach. It helps to have few or no expectations. Rather, by remaining curious, thinking to yourself ‘what if…’ and enjoying the journey, you’ll go further.

Will it be as fast as you want? Probably not. Will you get ‘there?’ Maybe not.

Will this approach give you the best chance to get where you want to go? Yes. Even better, this approach may uncover riches inside yourself you never dreamed existed.

So, pick a direction and start digging. Tell a trusted friend, loved one, or mentor the direction you are going. Ask for some help when you get stuck or feel there is nothing on the other side. They’ll help you through the obstacle or help you decide to stop digging.

Either way, it’ll be amazing what you uncover. Let’s start digging!