As you can imagine, there are a lot announcements during a day Camp Weequahic. Not all start the same, though.

In the dining hall or around the flagpole, you’ll hear ‘THREE, TWO, ONE, SHHHhhhh….’ to get everyone’s attention. For the activity day announcements, you’ll hear music from the speakers and the melodious voices of our office team. Moo Call is announced with, well… mooing. (Seriously!)

It wasn’t always this way. In fact, not too long ago ‘Now hear this’ was used to get everyone’s attention. You’d hear it barked through megaphones and read it in newsprint. It was everywhere, normal.

Father Greg Boyle, founder of the largest gang rehabilitation program in the world, wrote a book that captured me for a week. In it, he uses this ‘Now hear this’ phrase in a different way.

Now

We often get caught up revisiting and reliving the past or imagining the future. Some of this is certainly useful.

Reviewing our past mistakes to learn the lessons therein is useful. Remembering times when we did something really well leads to confidence. So does imagining ourselves doing something perfectly in the future.

But when we get caught in those spots, we fail to live our lives now. And, when we fail to be totally immersed in the ‘right now’ we miss opportunities, delights and simple joys.

Here

Be where your feet are. I’ve noticed this saying a lot lately. Rather than focusing on somewhere else, be fully immersed in where you are.

Walking around camp the first few days of the session, you’ll find a few campers thinking about home. It’s completely natural and missing home is a real thing. Rather than being ‘where their feet are’, these campers have one foot at camp and another back home.

Like Mr. Myagi said, you can’t walk down the middle of the road. You’ve got to choose one side or the other. At Camp Weequahic, we do everything we can to help our campers revel in being ‘here.’

This

What you are doing right now is important. Doesn’t matter if you are making your bed, laughing with your friends, or learning a new skill.

We spend a lot of time in our own heads. Even when someone is in front of us, we are often making lists of things to do, thinking about what’s for dinner, or looking around. Often, we are thinking about our response to what they are saying rather than truly listening.

Whatever is in front of you deserves your attention. (Except for your phone. Put that down. J) Focus completely on what is in front of you.

The more we practice the Now. Here. This. Idea, the more joy you’ll get and give to the world around you. Yes, there is a need to review the past and dream of the future. Careful, though, that you don’t sacrifice the present.

 “Yesterday is gone. Tomorrow has not yet come. We have only today. Let us begin.” – Mother Teresa

PS – Amit Ray said, “If you want to conquer the anxiety of life, live in the moment, live in the breath.” I enjoyed a great campfire conversation with Bob Ditter about just this topic. I hope you’ll take a few moments to listen.

Yes, you read that right. I want you to fail. And not just once but again and again and again. I want you to screw up, mess up, flub the line, tangle the string, drop the pass.

Why? Because, if you take it correctly, it’s the only way you’ll learn.

Learning from Mistakes

When you’ve made the mistake, take a moment and think. Review what happened. Where was your attention? What did you not understand? Is there someone who can help think through it, diagnose the problem?

I know you are probably upset but remember – the space between what happens and how you react is yours to use as you want.

Once you’ve thought about the recent past, take some time to think about the near future: what will you do differently next time? In fact, once you have the knowledge you need, I want you to go so far as seeing yourself doing that ‘thing’ perfectly.

(Make sure to include the joy you’ll feel in accomplishing it!)

Then, get after it. Again.  Remember…

Competence Is Earned

When I was in elementary school, my friends and I watched a baby bird coming out of its shell. Seeing it start to struggle at pecking through its shell, I reached out to help.  Before I could get to the shell, the scoutmaster stopped me and said, “No, that bird has to get out itself. Otherwise, he won’t grow.”

I don’t know if that’s true or not but it made sense. It still does today, four decades later.

Like that baby bird, you have to struggle in order to know how to overcome. When you realize that challenges are there to instruct you, inform you, and engage you, you’ll start to develop grit, stick-to-it-ivness and confidence.

It is not easy and it is really important.

Want the good news? The people at Camp Weequahic can teach you how to make this learning fun.

Learning from Mistakes at Camp Weequahic

First off, your parents aren’t at camp. That automatically takes some pressure off of you. You can fail all you want! (And, those parents who are there act like they aren’t!)

Camper, speaking as a parent and for our parents: we don’t mean to apply ‘pressure.’ We don’t want you to be perfect. We want you to be a good human who can handle the challenges and joys of life as you grow old. And, we want you to call us often when we get old!

Instead of your parents, you are surrounded by all these great mentors and teachers, people who are only a few years older but have the experience to teach. They also have fresh memories of their own mistakes and are excited to support you in the learning process.

Secondly, you realize at Weequahic that some of ‘struggle’ is internal – building the courage to make a new friend, try a new activity, be vulnerable. And, some of it is external for all to see – muffing a line on stage, dropping the baton in the relay race.

The good news is you are surrounded by a TON of friends who are going through it, too. All they want to do with you (rather than at you) is laugh and have a blast. Again, this takes the pressure down a notch.

Finally, we try a lot of different things and do our best to make sure they are fun attempts. (And, of course, we keep things as safe as possible!)

Healthy Habits

In the end, you learn to frame the mistakes as ‘learning opportunities’ rather than failures or losses. And, when you pile up enough learning, you’ll start winning. Not just at the game or with that tricky part of wood shop work, but in building a life of meaning.

And that, campers, is something we should all get after.

So, go out and fail today. Just don’t fail to learn from it. We’ll be watching and supporting you the whole way!

Have a great week,

Cole

PS – If you’d like to listen to a Campfire Conversation Podcast on this subject, you’ll find a short conversation between me and some good friends on iTunes, Spotify, or Stitcher.

It’s late in the afternoon and we are tired and full and hot. It’s been a fun day – climbing, waterskiing, soccer. In Grill Masters, we made these crazy kebabs with chicken, onions and pineapple.

Lunch was actually really good – wing day! – and the dancing was hilarious.

But, we were up late last night goofing off, telling stories, laughing, and pretending to be asleep, whispering to each other until who knows when. That last round of gaga was great… and tiring.

Time for ‘shower hour’ and everyone is back in the bunk. I catch a look from someone I’ve not seen since lunch. And then another. What a second – was that a dirty look? Did they really just sneer at me?

What the heck? Hm… we didn’t talk at lunch. They were sitting on the other end of the table and wouldn’t pass the ketchup.

What the heck is this all about? Snotty kids…. I can’t believe they’d look at me that way. I going to….

Stimulus and Response

As I hope you can tell, the above is a fictional account of what could very easily go on in a bunk at camp. Not often, mind you, but it does happen. And… I wanted to get your attention. This is a classic camp example of stimulus and response.

Here are the basics: a change in the environment is the stimulus; the reaction of the organism to that change is the response.

In other words, someone tells a joke you think funny, you respond by laughing. You hear a loud crash in the middle of the night, you respond by waking up and looking around. Someone gives you a look you consider mean, you start to react.

It’s pretty solid science, this stimulus and response reaction. But here’s the caveat – you can determine how you respond.

One of my favorite thinkers of the 20^th century is Viktor Frankel. An Austrian neurologist and psychiatrist, he was a survivor of the Holocaust camps. One of his thoughts that has always stuck with me is this:

“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”

You Choose

At Camp Weequahic, our campers get to choose their activities. Whether they want to focus on swimming, creating, competing, or adventuring, we’ve got it covered. Everything from robotics and cooking to sports leagues and waterskiing. Your summer, Your choice; it’s a tagline for a reason.

But that’s not all our campers (and staff) get to choose. Their most important choice, made daily and often without much thought, is their reaction.

It’s our goal that campers (and staff) learn to use the space between stimulus and response to become more mindful and intentional of their reaction. It’s an important habit to develop and camp is full of opportunities to practice in a safe, thoughtful environment.

The more we can help our campers (and, yes, our staff) practice using the space between what happens and how they react, the more freedom and growth they’ll enjoy in their lives.

It’s important to remember that the collection of these responses over time determines a person’s attitude. And, that attitude will determine a vast part of their future life.

Here’s to the space between….