Our first five summers at Weequahic are a blur to me. We were so focused on taking our great traditions, a property that had seen some better days and make CW an incredible place for our campers.

There were a lot of bumps along the way.  Because we were changing things, not everyone was thrilled with us. And, when things didn’t go just as I wanted and envisioned, I complained a lot… to a few people.

It never felt right but I complained anyway. I wanted Weequahic to be great right now, doggone it! I wasn’t being grateful for all the magic and fun around me.

But then my whole attitude turned on a dime. Why? Because I read a very short statement from a very smart man.

Enter Dr. Hawking

Stephen Hawking studies astrophysics, math, and a whole lot of other things. His work has revolutionized our understanding of how the universe works. He is one of the smartest and brain-abled humans on the planet.

And, he is confined to a wheelchair. In fact, he’s so debilitated that he cannot speak without the aid of a computer. However, that’s not stopped him from teaching classes, writing books, giving speeches and more. How is this possible?

I think he’s done so well because he’s decided to be grateful and positive. Here’s the quote that turned me around:

“When you complain, nobody wants to help you.” 

And, you know what? He’s right.

Focus

If you spend your time focusing on the things that are wrong, and that’s what you express and project to people you know, you don’t become a source of growth for others. Rather, you become a source of distraction.

The more you complain, the more you drag everyone around you down. And while pulling people down around you so that they feel the same way may feel good for a moment, it just makes things worse for everyone.

Dr. Hawking projects gratitude and inclusiveness and growth and humor and a

wickedly sharp intellect. It’s not just Dr. Hawking who approaches things with humility and gratitude.

A Stunning Fact

Speaking of humility and gratitude, here’s an odd question: which professional sports team has the highest winning percentage in history?

Here are the leaders in their sports:

·      NFL Denver Broncos: 58%

·      NBA San Antonio Spurs: 61%

·      NHL Montreal Canadians: 59%

·      MLB Yankees: 57%

Only a few of you may even know this teams name but they are famous in their sphere: the All Blacks, New Zealand’s national rugby team. They’ve won 83% of all their matches. That’s just straight-up domination.

The All Blacks are the best of the best of the best. And you know what they do after every game, no matter if they’ve won or lost?

They clean their own locker room top to bottom.

The All Blacks want to leave the place better than they found it. Each man who wears the shirt wants to leave the organization better than when he joined. They are grateful for the experience of competing together and take nothing for granted.

These men don’t complain. They are grateful for the growth.  They appreciate the moment, each and every time. And, they win.  A lot.

Gratitude at Camp Weequahic

Are you appreciating the moment?  This is a question I often ask at Campfire.

At Weequahic, we get to play. We get to build deep friendships. We get to do things we’d never dream of at home. There is a lot to appreciate and it’s easy to do.

This attitude can become a bit more challenging at home. We are all so busy – school, work, after school activities, homework, a bit of free time…. I know because that’s our own family’s schedule. The problem with being “busy” is that it often gets in the way of appreciative the opportunities and friends around you.

Take your moments with a grateful heart. Enjoy the little things because one day you may look back and realize they were really big things in disguise.

Let’s have a grateful week!

Cole

Today at sundown marks the start of an important day in the life of many of our camp families.

Yom Kippur, the Day of Atonement in English, is one of if not the most important holidays in the Jewish calendar. It’s a day for examining your actions and thoughts over the previous year, asking for forgiveness from both God and those you’ve wronged, and pledging to do better. It’s also a day for charity.

Asking for forgiveness and atoning for one’s digressions is important. First, it shows that you recognize that you’ve done wrong. Second, it allows forgiveness to enter into the equation – both you forgiving yourself and allowing the other you’ve wronged to do the same.

Sometimes, this means letting go of anger or jealousy or contempt or fear. Carrying those emotions around is like a big block tied around your neck that you’ve got to lug around. Recognize what it is, ask for forgiveness, set that puppy down and walk away from it!

That leads me to story that is applicable and, I hope, useful for you.

Elephants May Not Forget….

A few years ago, a family traveled to India to learn more about the country and culture. In their travels, they stopped at an elephant preserve where, they were told, one could walk very close to the enormous beasts.

As they entered, the father noticed the attendants walking the world’s largest and most powerful animal around by a short length of rope.

Concerned for their safety, the father cried out, “What are you doing?! That elephant can snap the rope anytime it wants and trample us all!”

“Sir,” the attendant replied, “please calm down and let me explain.

You see, when all the elephants here are born, we place a rope around their leg and tie the other end to a large tree. The young elephant is not strong enough to break the rope or move the tree.

Over time, the elephant learns that the rope controls it and this knowledge changes the elephant forever. While it’s certainly strong enough to break the rope, these elephants don’t know it.”

Drop the Rope

Imagine that – a small rope holding back one of the most powerful animals in the world. If the elephant only knew, it would be off to the races and fast!

But, the elephant would have to recognize the rope for what it truly is – a small thing, which could easily be broken or dropped, that has been given inordinate power over their actions and beliefs.

How about you? What ropes have you allowed to be placed on your leg (by others or yourself) that are holding you back? How you deal with your friends or family? Feeling guilty about something in the past or future? Being angry, lazy, rude, or jealous?

Regardless of your beliefs, spending a hour or day thoughtfully reviewing your past deeds and atoning for transgressions is a useful and beneficial practice. It will lead you to places you may not want to visit inside yourself or with others. However, the power of forgiveness is an awesome thing and I wish you all to experience it.

Talk with you next week.

(This story came from Joshua Medcalf’s Pound the Stone. I highly recommend it to all.)

I’m so lucky to have tons of opportunities to connect with our campers throughout the summer. While all are a lot of fun, one of my favorite evenings each summer is spent with our rising 10^th and 11^th graders.

On separate nights for the young ladies and young men, we gather at the beach, cook together, and sit around the campfire to talk and laugh and learn about big issues.

This past summer, one of our CITs asked an important question and I didn’t do a very good job answering it. So, I’m going to try to do better now.

The question was:

How do you become confident?

It’s important question, especially for young people. It’s important because there are going to be a lot of times in our lives when you don’t feel confident but you really, really want to be.

Here’s the thing: when you are interested in something, you come up with all these excuses and plans and reasons and circumstances on why you can’t or it won’t work.

But if you are committed to something, you find a way.

So, to me, the more important question is ‘What are you going to completely commit yourself to?’

Creating the Future

Now, that’s a bit dangerous because it requires you to think a bit about the future. You can’t truly commit to something unless you can clearly envision what your world will be like when you get there.

The most common way to deal with the future is to try to predict it. To be in the right place at the right time with the right skills or investments.

A far more successful and reliable approach is to invent the future. Not all of it, mind you. Just a little part. But enough of a part to make a difference.

And, how do you invent that future when you don’t have the right skills/background/experience/knowledge? You do it by controlling two things you have total and complete power over:

Your attitude and your effort.

You can bring more generosity of spirit, more enthusiasm, more kindness, more resilience, more positive energy, more bravery and more curiosity to the situation than anyone else. Ask for help, accept your mistakes and learn from them. Get back up over and over and over again.

Because you choose to. Because you are committed.

And, one day down the road, after you’ve gained experience through the pursuit of that commitment, you’ll find yourself confident.

The Next Question

So, the next question would be, “What do you value so much that you are willing to put in that much effort, time and passion?” Just like Weequahic’s program, it’s your choice….

Have a great week!