Camp News & Blog

Skate park at Camp Weequahic

Your Controllables

November 6th, 2020

What time you get out of bed.

Whether or not (eww…) you brush your teeth in the morning.

Which bit of breakfast you put in your mouth first and last.

Remembering to take your things to school.

How you greet your teacher, your classmates, the custodian, hall monitor.

How much time you spend in the bathroom.

What you think about during math class.

How you treat those around you (and yourself) at lunch.

How much time you spend on your phone.

What you attend to whilst on your phone.

How you leave your classroom, classmates, teacher, custodian for the day.

How you greet those at home when you see them after school.

Whether or not you do your homework. AND, the quality of the effort as well.

What input – news, music, games, etc. – you attend to when not doing homework or chores.

How you react to that inpu.

Whether or not (ew…) you brush your teeth before bed.

What you think about whilst falling asleep.

Campers, this is a just a small list off the top of my head that you completely control each and every school day. Doesn’t matter if you are online or in-person. Doesn’t matter what time school starts or what you have after it.

You have the opportunity to control all of the things listed above along with a whole lot more.

Losing Focus

A lot of adults (and kids) are focused right now on things that are way out of their control. Because of this, our ability to exert control on that which we can degrades.

It’s ok to be sad or scared or anxious or nervous some of the time. These feelings are good reminders to make your scope of focus a bit smaller and think about what you can do to make the world around you a better, more interesting place.

The results of your efforts don’t matter (unless they are making the situation worse. If that is the case, stop and do something else.) Most of the time, you won’t know if your daily actions are meaningful. In fact, change is so slow that you don’t even notice it… in both directions.

Like a snowball rolling down the mountain, little things add up quickly.

The more emphasis or focus you put on treating yourself, your responsibilities and those around you with kindness, honesty, and grace, the more those around you will see you as a kind, honest and graceful person. The more careless with your time, your words or the small details under your control, the less likely those around you will trust you enough to give more.

Control what you can control, Weequahic. That’s one of the keys to a productive, happy life. Have a great week!

PS…

I had a totally different post ready to go today. However, just like four years ago, I’ve spent a good portion of my day on the phone with friends upset about an election. Like four years ago, some are afraid and others happy.

Just as four years ago, I’m happy to report, based on evidence from the past 4 billion years, the sun will come up tomorrow and the earth will continue its dance through the heavens. Today will be a lot like yesterday and tomorrow a lot like today. I say this not to diminish feelings of hurt or elation. It’s stated simply as a reminder of perspective.

The vast majority of change is very slow to happen and mostly springs from our daily, personal interaction with the world and people around us. This is also the source of most of our joy.

The world is too big to change much less control. Our best way forward, as in any situation, is to control what we can control and treat the world and those around us with kindness, honesty and grace. Get after that, Weequahic, and things will work out well.

Office and support staff at Camp Weequahic

When Is Fear Fun?

October 30th, 2020

BOO! Did I scare you? No, probably not. Here how about this:

Camp is closed.

How about now? 😉

Halloween is upon us, the annual time for trick-or-treating, spooky decorations, abnormally large penguins (see the picture above) and horror movie revamps.

Here at the Winter Office, we’ve constructed a ‘candy shoot’ that will allow for physically-distanced candy delivery, all masked and gloved up. It’ll be different, sure, but hopefully still fun for the kids.

Enjoying Fear

Why do we ‘enjoy’ fear so much in some moments and not others? Dr. Arash Javanbakht and Dr. Linda Saab do a great job explaining the difference in their article, The Science of Fright.

Basically, it comes down to context. If you are going into a haunted house to get the rush of being scared while knowing it’s all just a game, you like the way your fear makes you feel after the fact. On the other hand, having a mountain lion closely track you because you got too close to its cub will produce fear that you won’t enjoy.

The context is very different between the two situations but so is something else. In the haunted house scenario, you’ve got a sense of control – you can always leave or call out ‘I’m done – let me out.’ The mountain lion won’t listen to you. It’s following its own programming and intent. In other words, you’ve very little control of the situation.

The first can be fun. The second? Not so much.

Real Life Fear

Campers, a lot of your friends and neighbors are feeling fear right now. (And, remember, in the grand scheme of things, we are all neighbors.) We’ve had a hard year, certainly. The uncertainty of the election and the blaring news inputs are overwhelming if you decide to give them your attention.

Just like your attitude, though, you can choose what you listen to, what you read. I cannot control the election. I cannot control COVID. I cannot control every aspect of camp. But…. I can influence things.

Sure, I’ve got more influence over camp than the election. I’ve got more influence how COVID may enter my home than my city. I’ve got more influence on my approach to today than on my boys’ and even less so on yours. So, I focus on what I can control and hope the ripple effect of my actions and attitude influence those around me.

There is one really great thing about fear: it focuses your senses. It demands you live only in the present. It strips everything else away and gets your body ready to see clearly and react quickly. Think about the last time you were really scared: you see more sharply, your breathing rate goes up, and you get a rush of energy.

Your body is ready. It’s the mind that has to be trained.

How Will You Respond?

So, how will you respond to a situation that brings fear into your equation? Will you run from the challenge or face it? Will you cheat on the test or stay honest no matter what? Will join your voice with those making things worse or join those patiently and intentionally being supportive?

We don’t get much of a choice on feeling fear. As the authors indicate, fear is as old as life on Earth. But, as humans, we do get a choice on how to respond. Just as important, as humans, we get to train ourselves by watching others. In fact, fear is contagious. (So is joy and most every other human emotion.)

That’s where courage comes in, in the choice. In feeling the fear and choosing to do what is right anyway.  When you’ve got good role models – like the counselors of Camp Weequahic – you are more likely to choose courage than not. Either way, it’s your choice.

Enjoy a safe, healthy and spooky Halloween, Weequahic!

How to Find Your Arch-Enemy

October 23rd, 2020

We enjoyed a great Autumn at Camp Weequahic this year. Over 150 returning camp families showed up to enjoy a ‘socially distanced’ day at camp with a lot of friends. We also had a blast showing Weequahic off to many potential campers and parents as well. It was even instructive for me as I learned how to find your arch-enemy.

On of those tours had 9-year-old boy who shared my love of comics. At one point in our conversation he asked me, ‘Cole, who is your arch-enemy?’

My first thought was ‘wow, I’ve never been asked that.’

After I thought through a couple of possibilities – my younger brother, the director at Camp Westmont, and a few others I settled on one that, beyond a shadow of a doubt, is my arch-enemy. (And, no, it’s not Ross – I love that guy!)

What is an ‘Arch-Enemy?’

Fiction is really good at setting up heroes with an arch-enemy. Sherlock often foiled Moriarty. Darth Vader plagued Luke Skywalker. Harry Potter battled Lord Voldemort over and over.

It even happens in real life: Aaron Burr hounded and then killed Alexander Hamilton. Every NFL fan (save those living in and around Boston) despises Coach Belichick. SEC fans feel the same about his college-image in Nick Saban.

Heroes and arch-enemies are linked. In most cases, one fights for good while the other for evil. Always at cross purposes, they rage away at one another, even when they do not ‘share the stage’ so to speak.

However, when you look closely, all of these pairs share a number of similarities. Sherlock and Moriarty were the cleverest men of their age. Luke and Vader, both disciples of and empowered by the force, are actually – gasp – son and father.) Harry and Voldermort are powerful magicians, linked by a ‘soul-bond’ of magical origination. The coaches love the game of football as much if not more than the fans of opposing teams.

An arch-enemy is defined as ‘a person who is extremely hostile or opposed to someone or something.’ This certainly describes the pairs listed above. But, it also describes an even more important and powerful arch-enemy for each hero.

Your Most Powerful Arch-Enemy is…

So, I left you hanging in the intro, didn’t I? How do you find your arch-enemy? After I thought about it for about two seconds, I answered:

Myself.

I hear you saying ‘No way, Cole! It’s got to be someone else.’ It’s not, though. All I have to do is look in the mirror.

Of course, this is not always true. However, I can’t count the times in my life when I’ve told myself ‘you can’t’ or ‘you shouldn’t’ or ‘they’ll laugh’ or ‘no, seriously, that fifth and sixth cookie will make you feel better.’

Does that ring true for you, too?

There are two scenes in Star Wars that illustrate this point perfectly. During their ‘becoming’, both Luke and Rey battle a foe in a secret place. Vader charges out of the darkness, light saber ready to attack Luke. An unknown assailant approaches Rey with a lightsaber bo staff. Luke wins a short battle but, in looking at his fallen foe, the face underneath Vader’s mask is Luke’s own. Rey realizes she’s fighting herself as well.

How About You?

Campers, odds are your arch-enemy is yourself. AND THAT’S OK! It’s actually more important to realize that fact than just about anything else. When you become aware of the situation, you can step back, observe what you are ‘hearing’ in your head and decide whether or not to follow the message.

Whether it is battling the fear of doing the right thing, putting in the extra effort when no one is looking, or overcoming some self-set limits, you’ll have to battle yourself a good bit. This won’t change through your years. The sooner you realize it, the sooner you can become aware of the fight and make your ‘enemy’ smaller and weaker over time.

Just make sure to treat your enemy – yourself – kindly. Believe it or not, ‘they’ are just trying to do what they think is right. You, though, get to decide whether or not to listen.

Your choice!