Category: Campfire Conversation

Despite

October 21st, 2022

Our oldest had a bit of a setback recently. He’d be enjoying his first year of college and doing all the things: classes, new friends, etc. During his second intramural’s flag football game, an old injury decided to rear its head again. The result: another torn ACL.

Five weeks into this new and, up to this point, meaningful (and fun) experience of college, all had gone about as well as could be expected. Now, rather than running around, he’ll be crutching around. Rather than playing 3on3 basketball, he’ll be coaching. Instead of running to class, he’ll be hailing the golf cart assistance team.

This is not what he wanted. And, it happened. Thankfully, he’s already been through it once and knows the routine. While the family was trying to help, I read something that focused on one word:

Despite

The definition of the word is ‘without being affected.’ In Cole3’s situation, he’d use it as ‘I’m going make a bunch of new connections despite not being able to play sports.’ Or, ‘I’m going to make it to class on time despite having to use my crutches or the golf cart crew.’

In each of these situations, he’s got a goal. In each, he’s also got a challenge: he almost always makes friends through sports in the first situation and can’t move very well in the second. He’s decided, though that despite the challenge, he’s going to overcome.

Will he do it? I hope so. But that will be up to him. (He’s off to a great start, though!)

What’s Your ‘Despite?’

When we started at Weequahic, we didn’t have many campers. We wanted to make sure those who were with us had a blast despite not having leagues or many campers in their age groups.

A lot of our new campers arrive without knowing anyone. They decided to have a great time despite being nervous about this new experience. (And they crush it!)

We all have situations that are challenging in all of our phases of live. Those give us the opportunity to use ‘despite’ in really productive ways. So, what’s your ‘despite’ going to be?

Have a great weekend!

PS…

It can go the other way. He failed his class despite having a lot of teacher support. She continued foul the other player despite the coaches and refs talking with her about it. Cole keeps eating cookies despite knowing the fourth and fifth ones are not good for him.

Maybe you have a habit that negatively affects you. You can turn it around – I know you can! Despite only being around our campers and staff for a few weeks a year, I know our Weequahic can do anything they put their minds to!

What Makes You Happy?

October 7th, 2022

Well… it’s not the internet. How do I know? The Dr. Jean Twenge recently put out an article and  great series of graphs on the World Happiness Report. Dr. Twenge and her team looked specifically at 12 to 18 year olds. (I would guess the following holds true for our younger… and older… friends, too!)

Time on the internet has increased dramatically from 2009 to today. During that same time period, the average amount of sleep and ‘in-person’ interactions have plummeted.

And, guess what the results for happiness did? Just like the rockets that don’t pop their ‘chutes at camp: straight down.

But, if you spend any time at camp, this isn’t a surprise. There are no phones and very, very little internet. There is an abundance of in-person interaction. In fact, you can hardly get away from it. And, (believe it or not parents), there is a lot of sleep – at least 8 hours for even our oldest campers.

Here’s the kicker graph to me:

Now, this graph is ‘correlational’ rather than ‘causal.’ That means it’s not proven that spending time texting or on social media or internet causes you to feel unhappy. It could be that when you are unhappy, you reach out to those options.


Either way, we know the things on the top of the graph – with the scores moving to the right – are either making you happy or are things you do when you are happy.

Want to know something crazy? It really doesn’t matter if it’s a before or after scenario. The more you do things that are correlated to your happiness, the happier you’ll be.

At camp, you can pretty much do everything that is purple in the graph above… except the news things. Yes, you can even do homework… if your parents request it. The things in yellow? Almost impossible to do at Weequahic.

Here’s the thing: you know you are happy at camp. So, make your life in other areas as happy as you can by making it more like camp.

How? Start by getting off your phone and around others. Go play. Volunteer your time. Reach a book. Write a list of you are grateful for rather than spending time scrolling. There are lots of ways. You just have to get creative and decide to go and do.

Get out there, Weequahic. Move! Interact! Sleep! And be happy.

Curious Before Furious

September 16th, 2022

When going through your life, whose perspective do you rely upon the most? (Your own, of course.) It’s the most natural thing in your life: seeing all that is going on around you from your own point of view.

Henry Thoreau, the writer of a few very famous books, said that he’d spend hours looking at a scene from one perspective. The next day, he’d sit in almost exactly the same spot – just a little different – and observe the same scene. He did this over and over. (The guy was either really patient, driven or bored to tears. I prefer to think it’s one of the first two.)

Thoreau did this so that he could observe the same things from different perspectives. Claude Monet, a ground-breaking painter, did a similar thing with haystacks and other subjects.

“Ok, Cole, why all the art talk and perspective?”

I’m glad you asked: because everything can be seen from different perspectives. And in doing so, you get a fuller understanding of what is actually in front of you.

Curious Before Furious

You and your friends read the same book for a class report. But each of you take the same information in differently, stressing some points and ignoring others. You think you and your friends have been arguing but you’ve made up and now everything is ‘ok.’ You may want to check that from the other’s perspective… or a third. (“Hey, Jenna – you were there when Samir and I were arguing. I think we made up and all is good. What do you think?”)

It’s a great tool in life to be able to see a situation, moment or thought from another (and another’s) perspective. It’s very easy to get emotional right away when something is said and you hear about it out of context. As I heard recently, it’s better to be curious before furious. What was really said? What was the context? What was the intent?

I like that phrase. It’s one that can be put into action right away. Sure, you can be mad after you’ve gotten all the facts and perspectives. But at least do the work. It can actually save you a lot of grief in the long run.
Be curious this week ahead!