Category: Campfire Conversation

We Should vs. I Will

October 18th, 2024

One of the most incredible discoveries of the 20th century concerned the structure of light. That which comes from the sun (and the tiny light above my seat on the plane as I type this) is both a wave and a collection of tiny packets of energy. Imagine millions of little ping pong balls of energy moving together to form a wave. Pretty awesome. (I like to think of it as the turtles jet stream-scene from Finding Nemo.)

This discovery helped to explain a lot of physics that I don’t understand… though I’m very happy it happened. Regardless of the science, for the purposes of this little campfire lesson, it’s how light is constructed – millions of packets of energy acting, moving and dancing together – that’s important.

We Should vs. I Will

We live in a great country. Do we have problems? Of course. In fact, if you read the news, you’d think things have never been worse. However, if you are a reader of history or a person that looks behind the sensational to look at the actual data… well, a very good argument could be made that things have never been better.

We live in a country where people lend a helping hand their neighbor. How do I know? Because one of our boys lives in Boone, NC where a once-in-a-100-year-storm left enormous devastation. Many people who live outside the town are now weeks without power and drink and eat only from the gifts and service of others.

There were a lot of people saying ‘we should’ do something… and then not doing anything. However, the gifts and service that is happening came from a collection of individuals (or ‘I’s’) doing something about the problem. The ‘we shoulds’ around the country did nothing but lend an opinion. Those who spent their time and their resources to aid these people are those who said ‘I will.’

When the collection of ‘I wills’ became strong enough, they became a wave that stared to bring the light of community and warmth of support to the people of Boone and Ashville and Blowing Rock and so many other places. This is true in almost every other ‘help needed’ situation out there… including camp.

‘We should’ is an opinion, a small set of words in the wind. They mean nothing.

“We should be welcoming to a new camper in our bunk.” Absolutely. Now – HOW do you do it and, looking back, DID you?

“We should confront a friend who is being mean.” Totally. Did you?

“We should be kind to one another, even when we disagree on something like food, religion, video games, or who our parents vote for.” Absolutely. Did you act so?

It Takes Courage

‘We should’ works only when it’s followed by at least one ‘I will.’ One person stepping forward with the courage and humility to act can and will draw others. Courage, just like fear, is contagious. 

Maya Angelou once said:

Courage is the most important of all the virtues because, without courage, you can’t practice any other virtue consistently.

Of, as Winston Churchill stated:

“Courage is rightly considered the foremost of the virtues, for upon it, all others depend”

It’s the exercise of courage that turns ‘we should’ into a whole bunch of ‘I wills.’ Doesn’t mean you are always right (or wrong). But at least you’ll be doing something that can be reviewed and changed, if needed.

So… go be an ‘I will’ rather an a ‘we should.’ As President Adams enocouraged his children: Be good and do good.

Safe and Uncomfortable

October 4th, 2024

As I take in the wonders of Westchester County from my rising flight back home, I start thinking about a conversation I had with an almost 100-year-old great-grandparent this past weekend. (Have to admit – I was a little starstruck… not often I get to have a family member that experienced listening in on a camp conversation.)

I got a speak with him a little after the parents sent the kids to play. It was incredible. He talked about what his family had to do to survive the Great Depression. How they moved. What they drove in and how long it took. Growing their own food and so much more.

He used these lessons and built a great business which went through a lot of hard times but is, ultimately, still in the family. He had to deal with a lot of hard things. He participated in a World War, watched the Civil Rights struggles, saw the moon landing, and so much more.

All the while, he had his head down, taking care of his family, his community, his business… which will now send his great grandkids to camp. Incredible.

Some Challenges

I know we all believe there is a lot going wrong in our world. I’ve got good friends who children are in the IDF. Families are being divided along political and ideological lines. A lot of my friends in Appalachia are really suffering from the recent massive flood. And yet…

A recent note from someone I appreciate said: if we read the news, it’s never been worse. But if we read history, things have never been better. Can it be both? Perhaps… but it’s all how we decide to view things.

An author I enjoy (the Wait But Why guy) has a very interesting book out. He covers a lot of topics very thoughtfully, I believe. One thing he mentioned when speaking about his college experience: his professors told him they wanted him to be safe and uncomfortable in their classroom.

I love that. And, of course… it reminded me of camp.

Safe and Uncomfortable at Camp

Let’s not sugar-coat (or fiber-coat, in this case?) things at Weequahic…. It’s pretty cushy. Instant hot water heaters? Heated pool? Air-conditioned Dining Hall? Three meals & three snacks a day? Canteen? Cookies every Friday night?

Cushy.

And yet… it’s still uncomfortable for many of our campers.

Living away from home. Living in a bunk with 10 other kids and three staff members you’ve just met (for our newest campers) or friends from past summers for our returners. The food is good… but it’s at certain times and Uber Eats is not running our way anytime soon. Oh… and no tech. (The HORROR!) Our campers are out of their rhythms and out of their comfort zones.

And. It. Is. So. GOOD for them. Safe… and uncomfortable.

The amount of leaning when you move out of your comfort zone (just enough) is impressive. Independence starts to grow. Courage starts to grow. The world begins to open up. The comfort zone begins to expand.

You begin to see discomforts for what they are – stepping stones of future grown or something temporary not spend a moment dwelling upon.  You realize you can make friends with others without your parents around or school or video games.

That’s the gift of camp. A community built with kids at the heart of it – fun, safe and, at useful times, uncomfortable.

Easy will lull us to sleep. Easy will have us waking up in a world of ‘Wall-E’ lethargy. It’ll help us produce generations who lack grit, determination, independence and more. Camp is not the complete answer to this challenge… but it certainly can be a part of the answer.

Let’s help our kids be safe… and uncomfortable. Have a good weekend!

Garden Times in the City

April 6th, 2024

There is a very long, very old poem that I challenged myself to read two summers. (Yes, I read every night before going to bed, just like a lot of you campers!) It took me all summer and I’m happy I read it. While challenging to understand at times, it’s really stayed with me. 

The poem is about angels, demons and humans – so lots of interesting things happen. In a recent article I read, a teacher suggests one of the main conflicts is about the struggle we humans have between two ways of life in the poem: the city and the garden. 

The City Mentality

There have been lots of great references about cities in rhetoric. One of my recent favorites is the comparison our country as a shining city on a hill that protects freedoms. The author of the poem, however, takes a different view of his city. 

Rather than shining, the poem’s city is dark and full of people who only think of themselves. They build technology and the city in a way that promotes only self-love and no consideration for anything ‘beneath them’ or anything that could be better. 

It’s a pretty dark, selfish and separating way to live. In fact, in another person’s imagination, this same city is one in which everyone’s house gets further away from the others when there is a perceived slight… and there are lots of those when you only think about yourself.

The Garden Way

In contrast, the garden of the poem has people and animals and plants and earth. There is fun and connection. There is work – a lot of it, in fact. But the work that leads the inhabitants to think of others more (the plants and animals). 

Their daily completed work creates that which sustains life and connection. Because there are few distractions which promote thinking more of themselves, gratitude has space to bloom like the flowers of their garden, full and diverse in beauty. And it does bloom, daily.

Alas, as we know from most stories, good times don’t always last. (Hey, without conflict, you don’t get a very interesting story!)

In the poem, the leader of the city enters the garden and introduces just enough of his way of doing things to ultimately make a huge change to the people in the garden. The garden inhabitants begin to think more about themselves rather than the other. 

Because of this increasing shift, they lose, rather quickly, all the gifts and joys of the garden itself. 

Garden Times in the City

So, what are we to learn from this old poem around the digital campfire? To me, the lesson is one of awareness, first, and intentional balance, second. 

Living ‘in the city’ that the poem describes is not a happy-ending, fairytale experience. The tech is too powerful and sucks each of us in deeper and deeper into our own selves to the exclusion of others and everything around you. Not a good thing for relationships, connection or culture. 

Hmm… what in the world could have that effect on us? Oh, yeah – our screens. The ones in our pockets and the ones we stare at one the wall. I’ve had many a time when I was ‘just checking’ Insta that turned into a disappeared hour or some Youtube rabbit hole swallowed me up for longer. 

I know it’s not great for me or my connection everyone else. AND… the tech can be super helpful at times. I believe it’s too useful to throw away. I just need to be better managing it in my life. 

Thus, the garden times. 

I should create intentional times to put away the screens and be completely and totally with others… or myself. To get my hands literally in the dirt to create and grow something. To walk around trees and grass and lakes to watch, listen and be. To play and run and create using my hands and feet and eyes alongside other people. 

Paradise Found

Sounds like camp, doesn’t it? Yes, all this is super easy at Weequahic. No screens, no distractions – just people and creativity and movement and woods and lakes and fun. Our little garden paradise each summer. Those weeks are fleeting, though.

We just have to be better about creating those ‘camp times’ at home. Yes, it’s more challenging to collect your friends to do something like this… but the effort is sooooo worth it!

So, how are you going to create a bit of garden time this week? Can’t wait to see everyone in a few months to enjoy the garden times together!