Valentines Day is tomorrow and the expression of love is in the air. It must be on my mind because I’ve heard three different versions of love’s definition or way to say it that I really like… and that also make me think of our campers and staff.

Ti Voglio Bene

The Italian version is fabulous. This is a common Italian phrase meaning “I love you” or “I care about you,” but it is used for friends, family, and close, non-romantic relationships. It literally translates to “I want good for you” or “I wish you well”.

This is totally a ‘camp thing.’ And, it also fits beautifully into the next one:

To Will the Good for the Other

As you may or may not know, I take wisdom from wherever I can get it. I’ve studied every major world religion (and a few minor ones) and listen to people across the religious and political spectrum. In many of his homilies, Bishop Robert Barron says that ‘love’ is simply to will the good of the other.

I love this. Again – totally a ‘camp thing.’

Zoe

In his book, Inner Excellence, Jim Murphy speaks of the Greek word, zoe. This is the state of being totally possessed of vitality, the full expression of love, wisdom and courage. As he talks about often (and I whole heartedly agree), love is fearless.

This idea also comes from Lao Tzu, the founder of Taoism:

“Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.”

How About You?

How will you tell someone that you love them tomorrow, the next day and the next? There are certainly more ways to say ‘I love you’ or ‘I want the good for you’ or ‘I will work for your life to be filled with love, wisdom and courage.’

You could do the dishes for your parents who’ve been working or organizing or planning all day. You could read a story to your younger sibling or your grandparent. You could call someone with whom you’ve not spoken with in a while to just check in and say ‘hello.’

(The worst/best kept secret in the world: we ALL want to feel connected but are afraid to go first. Well… Weequahic campers and staff practice courage! You can go first.)

Happy Valentine’s Day, Camp Weequahic. We love y’all!

Campers, when was the last time you were delighted? Hmm… you probably don’t think of it in those terms. I certainly didn’t when I was your age.

I’ll give you a couple of examples and maybe you’ll think of one or two or twenty-two.

When my brother and I were about 11 years old and combing through the comic book rack at a yard sale, I found a particular X-Men comic that I’d wanted for years. It wasn’t in great shape but I had always wanted a copy. And here it was, priced at 25 cents, on a table on a damp driveway in South Portland, ME.  Maybe that first time I felt delight. I remember being jubilant, happy… delighted.

Another one just happened today.

I was talking through the Atlanta airport on my way to our South Florida Winter Gathering. (Can’t wait!) A family with a 2-ish-year-old in front of me were getting organized to leave security. The little boy opened up his sippy cup and the straw kind of sprayed a bit of water on his face. Not a lot – just enough to surprise him… and me as I was walking by.

I watched out of the corner of my eye as his mom smiled a huge smile. Then I heard the little boy laugh… a lot. Then I heard the mom laugh. And then, me being me, I laughed, too. I realized I was still smiling about it a full minute later when someone gave me a funny ‘what the heck are you smiling about’ look.

An unexpected shared laugh. Delightful!

How to Find Delight

We have 365 days a year and many, many of those years ahead of us. The past? It’s instructive and it’s gone – we can’t do anything about it. We can only focus on our energies on the present and make (loose and possibly determined) plans for the future.

What will delight you today, this weekend, next week? I ask because then you can look for it. All of us can get so busy with all the little things in life – homework, chores, planning the next trip… or the next summer.

If we aren’t thoughtful, we’ll dive so deeply into the ‘to do list’ that we’ll miss everything on our ‘delight list.’ That would be a sad state of affairs. Sometimes, you remember that which delights you and look for it. Sometimes, you need some help. Speaking of which….

There’s an old movie (to you, my young camper, though not to me) where a lady takes away a man’s cell phone on which his busily talking, convinces him to take off his (fancy) socks and shoes, and feel the grass between his toes as they begin to enjoy a picnic. Near the end of the movie and alone in the same park, the man takes off his shoes and walks around a bit… before making the biggest and best decision of his life.

It’s always helpful to surround yourself with friends and family who care for your delight. Who can help you with this? If you can’t find anyone close by, give us a call. We’ll be happy to help.

Delighting at Camp

And, as the winter keeps plodding along here in the US, I’m reminded of a delightful set of lyrics from Cole Porter’s ‘It’s DeLovely’:

 I feel a sudden urge to sing

The kind of ditty that invokes the spring

I, too, want to invoke the Spring…. It’ll mean we are just that much closer to the people and the place that delights us all – back at Camp Weequahic. Can’t wait!

Stay warm, Weequahic, and keep looking for the delight in your lives!

Back in the early 1980s… when I went to camp… there was an interesting artist papering the sidewalks and buildings of NYC with pieces of colored paper with one-liners. Jenny Holzer went on to make a serious mark in conceptual art.

Now, I’m a summer camp director. I had a to look up what ‘conceptual art’ meant. I’m more of a Monet, Penley and Jim Lee kind of guy.

One piece that Ms. Holzer put up everywhere – including on hats – was this phrase:

Protect me from what I want.

This is something I completely understand. You do, too… but maybe not at first. Let me explain with a camp situation.

A Trip to Canteen

You are heading to canteen. What will you choose? Skittles or Legendairy Ice cream? Hershey’s or Air Heads? Hmm….

Actually, you want all of them. And, let’s say some really generous CIT is running show and wants to make a ‘positive’ mark by granting your wish.

You get it all. Everything you want. So, you walk away with a hoard of candy and start enjoying it all. You got what you wanted.

Including the stomach ache that comes from eating too much of the sugary stuff. And the side-eye glances from your friends who only got one of those candies. And that fuzzy feeling on your teeth that says ‘yikes – cavities inbound!’

Please protect me from what I want. See what I mean?

“But wait a second, Cole – that would just be a one-off thing! That doesn’t happen every day.”

I disagree. In fact, I think wanting things – much more than what we need right now – is a feature of our human nature, not a bug. We humans, left to our natural system, always want more.

Why? It has to do with our long-ago ancestors just barely scrapping by just to exist and create more humans who, eventually, turned into you and me.

Go enough months and years and decades and millennia with barely enough to eat and you’ll change the brain of every human that follows.

That pinging in our brain saying ‘Want more! Take more!’ comes from a natural place. And, in this time of abundance, it’s a natural instinct of which we need to be thoughtful. Because it leads to stomach aches, anxiety (did enough people like my post? do I have enough followers?), and more.

The Protection

So, if this is such a big (and natural) concern of ours, how we do we protect ourselves from what we want? Two things. The first is being grateful for that which we already have in our lives.

The second is choosing to be courageous enough to make a choice that is different than what your body and your mind and your friends want.  (See how I worked in all three of our values there?)

As you get older, your wants will change. Just like the boy and tree we read about at campfire each summer.  

The question is, will you be thoughtful about your wants? Will you protect yourself for those easy wants that lead to negative results – screen time, I’m looking at you – and those hard wants that lead to good things instead? (Ok, ok… I’ll go stretch more now.)

Be grateful. Be thoughtful. Be courageous. (And… stay warm this weekend!)