A big portion of our little world recognizes (and celebrates) this weekend. Our Jewish friends observe Passover. Our Christian friends celebrate Easter. Therefore, I thought it to be a good time to think about receiving gifts… though not in the way you may be thinking.

First, let’s start with our fabulous, wonderful brains. (See? Curveball….)

Your Brain

Your incredible brain has three major levels which have developed over time. The oldest is called the ‘brainstem.’ You don’t really think about this one because it runs a lot of your body on its own. This keeps us breathing, our hearts beating and more… even when we sleep. This is the oldest part of our brains.

The ‘limbic system’ is all about feelings and memories. It helps you feel things like happiness, sadness, or excitement. It also helps you remember stuff, like your favorite birthday party or how to ride a bike. It’s like the part that makes you say, “Yay!” when you get ice cream or “Uh-oh” when you’re scared. This part is younger than our brainstem but older than the last part….

The ‘cortex.’ This is the brain’s smart boss, the wrinkly outer part that makes you super clever. It helps you think, solve problems, talk, and make plans, like deciding what game to play or figuring out a math problem. It’s what makes you, YOU—helping with imagination, creativity, and making choices.

So… Why is the Brain Important to this Discussion?

Good question. Here’s the answer: because you have a lot of control over the cortex and very little control over the limbic system. (And, unless you are some very highly trained monk, you won’t have any control over the brainstem.)

When you feel scared – whether in ‘real life’ or in your own head (which, by the way, are the same thing…) – your limbic system starts to react. It remembers things hurting or things threatening and it tells your body to get ready to react to save yourself from that perceived danger.

Your heart rate goes up. You actually get a little stronger. Your reaction time increases. You might feel those ‘little butterflies’ in your stomach.

When you feel safe, things are different. Your body’s ‘safety system’ goes into a receptive mode – you are more relaxed, calm, and able to thoughtfully handle what is coming your way. If you feel safe, you can take on big thing with a clear mind. The limbic system has relaxed… it’s remembering the good stuff and having the cortex help it along.

Receiving a Gift

Now that we know how the brain works (a little) and a bit of difference between the ‘react’ state and ‘receive’ state, let’s talk about gifts.

Can you receive a gift with your hands all balled up and closed or with your arms crossed against your chest? Nope. You’ve either gotten yourself ready to fight (hands balled up) or protect yourself (arms crossed.) You are ready to react.

No, you need your arms out and hands open and ready to receive something. In other words,  you need to feel safe. You’ve got to quiet your ‘safety systems’ and be receptive to what is coming your way.

How do you do that? A couple of ideas as it relates to jumping in beautifully at camp this summer:

1. Imagine things going really well. A smile on your face, hearing a bunch of friendly voices from counselors and campers alike, great weather and a fabulous setting.
2. Make a plan for when things go a little sideways: Who will you ask for help? (Pick me! Or your counselors! Or Camp Mom Judy! Or your DH! The list is long….) What happens when you feel someone isn’t being so friendly? (Be patient and keep smiling.) When you miss home, how will you approach those feelings?
3. Truly understand and believe this: We are excited to get you to camp and sooooo many people will be there who just want to be your friend just as you are. You don’t need to change a thing.
4. Lastly – express your thankfulness to your family for making this happen. Gratitude opens up a lot of good things.

See You Soon!

Ok – that’s enough for today. To recap: your brain will put you either in a reactive or receptive state. Feeling danger/worry makes you reactive which doesn’t always help in the long term. Practice thinking about and prepare for things to go great this summer and be receptive. That’s how you can best receive the gift of camp.

See you soon!

With Spring Breaks around the US mostly behind us, kids are already eyeing the summer and all the fun they can enjoy. For many lucky kiddos, time at the best place on earth for kids (otherwise known as summer camp!) is coming up quickly.

While summer camp is fun, full of new adventures and community, it’s not always an easy transition. Here are some of the best tips for preparing your child for summer camp… in one camp director’s opinion.

Talk about Missing Home

Let’s get the big one out of the way first. Missing is home is both natural and normal and something for which both you and your child should prepare.

It’s important to remember why you chose your summer camp to begin with – the trust you developed with the camp and its great people. Camps are literally built to bring out the best in kids. Helping them through the very normal moments (and they are just moments for 99.9% of kids) is something they are very good at doing.

Be upfront with your child – they are going to miss home and that’s totally OK! Talk with them about feeling that and then start focusing on all the good they are enjoying at camp. (It also helps to get them moving – a walk with a friend, play a game, etc.) Remember, we humans get what we aim at, what we focus upon.

Your camper is going to feed off your energy. Be honest and positive. “Yes, I’m going to miss you, too, and I’m so excited for this adventure for you!”

Involved in Packing

That really special stuffed animal that has been with your child since birth or the blanket that Grammy gave them for their 2^nd birthday? Leave those items at home to ‘guard their bed.’ If something is really needed, help your kiddo ‘train a buddy’ to bring to camp. That way, they’ve got something at camp but the ‘real McCoy’ is safe at home.

After that, follow the packing list. Some camps may be ‘secret menu’ camps; meaning that EVERYONE (it seems) brings things that aren’t on the list. For us, pack the list. Seriously. Camp is gift enough and the less our kids bring an have to manage, the better.

Finally, involve your child (at least a little) in packing for camp. Building independence is one of the great outcomes of camp. Involve your child with the preparation process. And, if that want to  bring that silly hat or shirt that you dislike but they love, send it… It’s camp!

Practice Writing a Real Letter

It’s a dying art that we stubbornly practice at camp. Teach your child how to address and stamp an envelope. Can you send pre-addressed info? Sure. But see the note about independence above.

Teach them! Have them train before camp. Yes, summer camp counselors will help but please remember: they will have 10-12 rambunctious, awesome kids to look after and a busy schedule to keep rolling. Their campers’ safety will be their priority, not addressing notes back to you.

Pick Your Activities

Some camps are ‘traditional programs’ in which campers have very little choice. Others are choose-it-all, every moment of the day. Most camps fall somewhere in between those two goal posts.

Talk with your child before camp about the things they want to do at camp. Please remember – camp is for the kids! This will be an opportunity for them to explore new options they can’t find at home.

Parents – this is important: Kate an I have worked with literally tens of thousands of kids. We’ve been camp directors to hundreds of high school athletes and performers, a couple dozen collegiate athletes and performers and one Olympian/World Champion.

In all of those cases above, camp served as a place to get away and try lots of new things while meeting lots of new people and becoming a better human. Let your kid steer that ship at camp.

Start with the End in Mind

You are the adult in the room. You’ve got the experience to know that, while you want it to be, camp will not be perfect. You want to sweep your child up into your arms on the last day and see them sooo happy to see you… and crying because they don’t want to leave their friends and the camp experience. You want this to be a gift for your child.

Show them (and the camp) some grace for the little things. Focus on the good on the way home. Give your child a little bit of time before hammering them with questions. Camp is going to be a lot (of good!) for them to process.

Ok – Enough for now. Parents – you’ll get your list soon! Can’t wait for this summer!

Probably the last thing you want to hear from your camp director, huh? And I get it – you most likely hear ‘learning’ and think about sitting in class, working through some of the (very important) basics like reading, writing, and ‘rhymatic.

For most of us, that doesn’t fill us with rainbows and sunshine. Important? Absolutely! Fun… not often.

You rarely think about ‘learning’ when you think of camp. And I get it – laughing with your friends, goofing around in the Fort, enjoying a crazy Evening Activity before having a snack and going to bed alongside your great friends…. That doesn’t sound like learning.

But, it is.

Continuos Learning

I had the opportunity to enjoy the ACA New York/New Jersey Tri-State conference this week. It’s the largest collection of camp professionals in the world. It’s a ton of fun that included a lot of ‘sit down and take notes’ learning along with ‘get up and play’ and ‘walk around and talk’ learning, too.

One of the speakers was author David Brooks. Turns out, one of the most successful and visible pundits in the US spent 15 glorious summers as a camper and then staff member. In fact, he still serves on the board at his camp to this day.

He mentioned something I really loved: Camp is all about ‘moral formation’, becoming cognitively flexible, and enjoying (literally) a ‘whole body & emotional education.’

I couldn’t agree more. And, in fact, the employers (and future life partners) agree. These two different groups are looking for people who can function well in a team, who are curious and engaged, who can connect with a number of people outside of their own little bubble and who can solve problems creatively.

That, my young friends, is all what you learn at camp. Doesn’t matter if you are a camper or a staff member. Living (and laughing) in the Camp Weequahic community leads to these results, this learning. More to the point, you only learn best when you are in a good relationship.

And that is what we do best – bringing out the best in each of us and build a community around a whole lot of awesome.

Last Idea

I’ll leave you with this quote from one of the greatest business men of all time, Charlie Munger:

“The people who rise in life are not those who are the smartest, but they who are learning machines. They go to bed every night a little wiser than when they woke up.”

Go out there and keep learning. Get back to camp so we can learn the really important stuff… while laughing and playing a lot!!