What parts of camp did you love most last summer? Playing with your friends on the ‘big bouncies’ in the Lake? Laughing in the bunk with your bunkmates? Perhaps it was one of the incredible Evening Activities or sitting by the campfire?

When you think back of those moments, you not only get a memory but a feeling. There is an extra energy that comes from loving those moments, one that makes the moment even more special.

Sister Corita Kent said this: Love the moment and the energy of that moment will spread beyond all boundaries.

This is easy to do at camp – there are a lot of moments that are easy to love! That’s why its so easy for us all to do so many things during a day, wake up the next day and do even more! Could you move and interact with the same energy at school as you do at camp? While I doubt you can right now, I bet a subtle shift in perspective could help.

Love the Moment

Working on that paper. Cleaning the dishes after dinner. Making your bed before school. Riding the bus or the car or the scooter on the way in.

All of these (and all the others!) are moments you can love. You don’t have to love the coach that is speaking sternly to you or the grade you get back. You should appreciate those as learning moments… before you fall in love with the process and moments of getting better.

Some moments are easier to love than others. Yes, dancing on your chair in the Dining Hall at camp is certainly more lovable than unpacking that ziplocked sandwich and bag of chips. And, in the second situation, you are getting to eat. You are probably around some buddies. You aren’t in class. These are all things you can love.

(You can also really love the class work and the interaction with your teacher!)

Get the Energy

When that love of the moment is flowing, the energy starts, too. You feel more ‘up’, more alive. You are totally engaged and probably bringing others along with you. You’ve got a spring in your step and (normally) a smile on your face. (MJ used to stick his tongue out when he was loving the moment. Look it up if you don’t believe me!)

So, if you want more energy, more pop in your life, all you have to do is choose. Am I going to love this moment? Am I going to search for things I love about it? Or, am I just going to let it pass on by with a ‘meh… no big whoop’ or, worse, ‘this stinks.’

You get to choose your focus and the story you tell yourself. So, pick wisely!

(PS – Attitudes like this are ‘catching.’ So are the negative ones. Be thoughtful who you spend your time around as their attitude may rub off on your, too!)

In a scene from an intriguing book recommended by one of our staff members, a mentor uses chess to explain potential. “Even a pawn can become a Queen.”

I was taught this fact in a short-lived membership in my high school’s chess club. Not for a lack of interest, mind you, but rather patience and talent.

David H. had me on the ropes even though I’d taken his Queen. A few moves later, he’d turned a Pawn I had ignored into a Queen by reaching the opposite side. He then promptly demolished me and any positive thoughts I possessed of my ability.

The experience came back to me as I read the scene. It was cemented by the quote the author used from Thoreau’s Walden:

“If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours.”

This quote begs some thinking.

What are your dreams?

Only you can know these and they can certainly change. When I was in high school, my dreams included playing collegiate golf, becoming a country doctor, and having a girlfriend. (Hard work and some luck helped me fulfill the first, college chemistry ‘talked’ me out of the 2^nd and the third? Well… we’ll give that a B- that trended to an A+ when I finally met Kate.)

My dreams have now changed as I have. I’m sure yours will change as well. Whatever they are, the more clearly you see them, the more likely you can make them  reality.

What does ‘advancing confidently’ mean?

You’ve been around confident people. Do they get everything right all the time? Heck no!

But they move and think and act with purpose, believing that they’ll be able to figure out how to solve the problem, overcome the obstacle and advance their ideas.

How do you ‘live a life’ you’ve imagined?

As Roy Bennett has written, ‘The surest way to make your dreams come true is to live them.’ So, how do you do that? One little step at a time.

Want to be a surgeon? Start reading books or doing research as they do. Want to a great pianist? The person who starts lessons is immeasurably further ahead than the one who keeps dreaming and does nothing.

Explore, act, practice… these are all action verbs. First, you’ve got to set the dream up in your head and then start moving to live that dream out! The person who works confidently in the direction of her dreams by living out the life it requires honestly and humbly? They’ve got the best shot at making it all happen.

A pawn (meaning, someone without a lot of power/fame/attention/money at this point) can progress across the board and become a queen. There are pitfalls and traps, things that will steal our attention and cause a change in plans. That’s life.

But it’s those who confidently and competently move across the board, despite the setbacks, who’ll get to the life of their dreams.

Keep moving, my friends. You’ll get there!

In the last week, I’ve read or heard some form of ‘all you can control is the next action.’

One person talked about his super power – ‘I’m really good at breaking things down and taking it one step at a time… and never stopping until it’s done.’

Another, James Clear, wrote, “You can’t make time go faster or success come sooner. The only thing you can control is the next action.”

I agree and would expand the first line a bit. You can’t control other peoples’ decisions, the weather, the traffic, questions on the test, what your camp bunkmates like to listen to or play or eat or how they respond….

The only thing you can choose is the next action.

Next Action

But, what does that encompass? Well… a whole lot.

If you are taking a test, that next action may be answering the question as best you can and then going back and reviewing your materials to see how you did or what you would have done differently.  

Let’s put it in a camp mode: let’s say your new bunkmate said something that you thought was pointed at you and mean. You could pick from a number of possible options: do nothing besides ‘stew’ about it, ignore it, tell a counselor about it or – if you really want to show to yourself you are worth the risk (and, by the way, YOU ARE), you’d calmly ask, ‘Dude – were you trying to be mean?’

Now, are there emotions involved? Of course. We aren’t The Borg, partly human machines that look at situations coldly and pick the appropriate response to suit our current or future needs.

No! We are big, emotional animals with opposable thumbs and a wildly diverse taste in music and food and fun and everything else. But we all share a couple of things – emotional reponses being one of them.

A Story

Quick story to tell you what I mean. A number of years ago, I was cut from a team. It was something I’d worked hard to earn and, in the end, the coach decided I couldn’t help him as much as he wanted. So, I was cut from the team.

Now, my next action in that moment was to fight the emotions I was feeling, to bottle them and move on with a ‘brave face.’

That lasted pretty well for about 5 days until I had a tricky situation with a friend. Rather than handling it calmly, I blew up at him. I mean, I really let him have it, way more than I should have.

That big reaction wasn’t because of that little situation, though. Rather, it was because I had chosen not to process the emotions of loss and frustration and embarrassment and everything else that went along with being cut from the team. I had chosen to try and not feel them.

Looking back on it, I had spent 5 days avoiding something I really needed to feel and process. And, if I was being honest, those had been pretty crummy days, too. Thankfully, my friend was patient and, once I calmed down, helped me through it all.

Positive Actions, Too!

So… what are your next actions? And, I’m not talking only about the ‘negative’ stuff like not knowing an answer or getting cut from a team. I’m talking about the good stuff, too. For example, after dinner one night, I laughed out-loud at reading something a friend had sent while Kate & Luke was cleaning the table. (Relax – I had cooked the meal and was happy to sit for a bit.)

Kate asked, ‘Would you have laughed like that if you were here alone.’ I didn’t have to think – the answer was ‘of course!’ Why? Because I choose to laugh at funny things, (almost) no matter where I am.

Ah, my friends… it all comes back to that one, very powerful and not always appreciated human gift we have: the ability to choose our next action.

Thankfully, it’s something we’ll playfully get to practice at Weequahic this summer. See you soon!