Strange title? Probably. But bear with me – I promise there is something useful in those two words.

I’ve written and spoken about our species’ incredible survival to this point. A lot of it can be pointed at our brains’ quick and powerful recognition of risk and danger. This is what kept us – as a species – alive when there were a LOT of things in the world that wanted to eat us for breakfast.

This drive is so powerful, so ingrained in our brains, that it makes all of us humans have a powerful ‘negativity bias.’ That means that when something bad happens, we react with ‘Well… sure. That was always going to go bad.” That thought normally leads to “And I won’t do that again!”

When we were dealing with saber-tooth tigers or eating berries that make you really sick, that’s a great way to approach things. These negative experiences stick to our mind like Velcro. They dig their little hooks into the soft cloth of our minds and just stay there, always reminding us of that negative experience. The remind us to stay safe!

But… What about the Good Stuff?

So, if we – as a species – are predisposed to save the bad experiences in our heads, do we get to really enjoy the good stuff? Absolutely! We humans have always loved dancing around the (controlled) fire, sharing a good meal with close friends, laughing and loving.

We have always sought the good experiences and always will. The problem? When it comes to the good stuff, our mind is bit like Teflon – if we aren’t careful, those good moments hit our brains and just slide right off.

Think about it a moment. What is more powerful in terms of memory? The good or the negative?

I still remember the pain and surprise of getting hit in the face with a snowball when I was 6 years old. I don’t remember anything about the fun we had before or after that in the snow. I can recall with great clarity and detail the worst ‘staff management’ moment in my life but I have a hard time bringing up many of the incredible moments with staff.

But here’s the thing – the negativity bias, while it helped keep us alive, hurts the heck out of us. In this day and age, it’s useful when you’re around a hot stove or walking across the street or avoiding that really mean dog a few houses down.

Power and Practice

But living the negative also cuts us off from experiences that could open up your world, expand your connections and help you soar through life. Are there risks in the world? You bet.

But… is it actually ‘scary’ to make a new friend? It may feel awkward at first but that person in front of you is just that – another person who has the same anxieties and fears as you!

So how do we use the Velcro in our minds to get the good experiences to ‘stick?’ It involves something we do at camp: thinking about and sharing the good.

Simple? You bet! When you take a few moments to remember and share those great moments in the day, you start to ‘seat’ that good memories and moments into your brain.

Is it best to do in the moment? Yes. When you get off the zip line and after you’ve celebrated with your friends, close your eyes and re-live the experience – the zip and the high fives – for about 10 seconds. Same thing when you’ve made a new friend or shared an awesome meal or laughed with your buddies.

But you can also do it at night before you go to bed. The key is being intentional about it. And, if you share it with someone who you know cares for you, you’ll make the memory even more powerful.

Good Results from Thinking about the Good

The more we do this, the negative bias we all have will start to change more towards the ‘positive bias’ or looking for the good. It takes time and intention but it’s not hard. And, it’s the best way to open up your life.

So… now that you know, what will you do? When you get to camp, I bet it’ll be easy to figure out what we want for you. Get ready to share your happies!

See y’all soon.

**This idea comes from Dr. Rick Hanson and his book, Hardwiring Happiness.