In the last week, I’ve read or heard some form of ‘all you can control is the next action.’

One person talked about his super power – ‘I’m really good at breaking things down and taking it one step at a time… and never stopping until it’s done.’

Another, James Clear, wrote, “You can’t make time go faster or success come sooner. The only thing you can control is the next action.”

I agree and would expand the first line a bit. You can’t control other peoples’ decisions, the weather, the traffic, questions on the test, what your camp bunkmates like to listen to or play or eat or how they respond….

The only thing you can choose is the next action.

Next Action

But, what does that encompass? Well… a whole lot.

If you are taking a test, that next action may be answering the question as best you can and then going back and reviewing your materials to see how you did or what you would have done differently.  

Let’s put it in a camp mode: let’s say your new bunkmate said something that you thought was pointed at you and mean. You could pick from a number of possible options: do nothing besides ‘stew’ about it, ignore it, tell a counselor about it or – if you really want to show to yourself you are worth the risk (and, by the way, YOU ARE), you’d calmly ask, ‘Dude – were you trying to be mean?’

Now, are there emotions involved? Of course. We aren’t The Borg, partly human machines that look at situations coldly and pick the appropriate response to suit our current or future needs.

No! We are big, emotional animals with opposable thumbs and a wildly diverse taste in music and food and fun and everything else. But we all share a couple of things – emotional reponses being one of them.

A Story

Quick story to tell you what I mean. A number of years ago, I was cut from a team. It was something I’d worked hard to earn and, in the end, the coach decided I couldn’t help him as much as he wanted. So, I was cut from the team.

Now, my next action in that moment was to fight the emotions I was feeling, to bottle them and move on with a ‘brave face.’

That lasted pretty well for about 5 days until I had a tricky situation with a friend. Rather than handling it calmly, I blew up at him. I mean, I really let him have it, way more than I should have.

That big reaction wasn’t because of that little situation, though. Rather, it was because I had chosen not to process the emotions of loss and frustration and embarrassment and everything else that went along with being cut from the team. I had chosen to try and not feel them.

Looking back on it, I had spent 5 days avoiding something I really needed to feel and process. And, if I was being honest, those had been pretty crummy days, too. Thankfully, my friend was patient and, once I calmed down, helped me through it all.

Positive Actions, Too!

So… what are your next actions? And, I’m not talking only about the ‘negative’ stuff like not knowing an answer or getting cut from a team. I’m talking about the good stuff, too. For example, after dinner one night, I laughed out-loud at reading something a friend had sent while Kate & Luke was cleaning the table. (Relax – I had cooked the meal and was happy to sit for a bit.)

Kate asked, ‘Would you have laughed like that if you were here alone.’ I didn’t have to think – the answer was ‘of course!’ Why? Because I choose to laugh at funny things, (almost) no matter where I am.

Ah, my friends… it all comes back to that one, very powerful and not always appreciated human gift we have: the ability to choose our next action.

Thankfully, it’s something we’ll playfully get to practice at Weequahic this summer. See you soon!